What is love? - 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

What is love?  It’s a simple question; one you should be able to easily answer.  After all, you use the word often enough.  You say you love things like golf, the Georgia Bulldogs, and chocolate cake.  In a moment of emotional vulnerability, you might tell your friends that you love them, and even if yours is what polite people call a dysfunctional family, it is likely that there is at least one person among them to which you have expressed your love.  I would be willing to bet my parking space that even the most emotionally stunted person here has at least one time in their life said the words “I love you.”  But even if you have never uttered the word to another person, you are here today proudly proclaiming your love for God.  You say it, so you should have no problem defining it.

What is love? Some say love is a mood or emotion.  They speak of love as a thing that washes over you and fills you.  Love thus has the ability to influence your thoughts and opinions so that you are favorably disposed to a person, place, or ting.  Some say love is a feeling or a force.  They speak of love in the same way a scientist might speak of gravity or inertia.  To them love is a thing that drives you or compels you to desire, to yearn, to crave.  Perhaps you have heard me say love is an action a thing that you do.  Like an unfeeling analyst, I have distilled love down to its grammatical function and simply called love a verb.  But what about you; what do you say?  What is love?

You need to be able to answer that question because if you don’t know what love is, how do you know if you have love in your life.  And you need love in your life, because without love, what are you?  Saint Paul says without love you are a noise, you are a nobody, you are a nothing.  Saint Paul is writing a letter to the Christians in Corinth.  Corinth was a thriving and active mission congregation.  The congregation in Corith was a group of highly educated, highly functioning, highly successful men and women.  However, they were also highly influenced by the culture in which they lived.  The same drive which caused them to strive to be the best in the business also tempted them to strive to be better than their fellow man.  They fought and argued over who was working the hardest, whose service was most essential, who was most important to the mission of the church.  No doubt they were resentful of those who did less, whose service was unreliable, and whose participation was inconsistent. 

To the Christians in Corinth Paul wrote, “1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” Paul points out that you can be the most talented person in the world and with that talent you can command the respect of your peers, influence the masses, and inspire the next generation, but if you have not love, you are nothing but a noise.  Paul points out you can spend your entire life chasing after accomplishments and achievements so that at the end of your life your mantle is full of trophies and awards but if you have not love you are nobody.  Paul points out you can dedicate your life to doing good deeds and making a difference in people’s lives and even be willing to die for what you believe in but without love you are nothing.  You can be the most talented person in the world.  You can accomplish more than anyone ever has accomplished.  You can dedicate your life to doing good deeds. But without love, you are a noise, you are a nobody, you are a nothing. If you don’t want to be a noise, a nobody, a nothing than you need love in your life.  But what is love!?! 

In his letter to the Corinthians Paul tells us what love is.  Paul doesn’t exactly define love, rather he describes love.  And the context in which he describes it is worth noting.  Paul does not paint us a pretty picture of love, he does not give us a sanitized version of love, and he does not tell us a fairytale about love.  Paul places love in the midst of conflict and struggle, betrayal and abuse, pain and sorrow.  Paul describes love in the context of real life that is lived by real people who say and do mean, nasty, ugly things to one another.  In other words, Paul describes what love is in the context of your life and my life and the lives of all people who struggle with sin and are surrounded by sinners.   

First Paul tells us what love is not.  Paul wrote, “4… It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” The list of things love is not is twice as long as the list of things that love is.  Probably because we have twice as much experience being unloving than we do being loving.  Perhaps you noticed the list of things love is not are all related to a person’s ego.  The belief that one is better than others causes one to believe they should have better things than others, they should receive more recognition than others, and they should be treated better than others. The belief that one is better than others causes one to look down on those they feel unworthy of their respect, be irritable with those thought to be beneath them, and keep a list of grievances against one’s honor which need to be avenged.    

Paul first tells us what love is not, then, he tells us what love is.  Paul wrote, “7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” The list of things love is all stem from a person’s humility.  The belief that others are better than oneself casues one to care about another’s property, person, and reputation.  It causes one to put the best construction on the things that others do and speak.  It causes one to want the best for others and be eager to celebrate their accomplishments and achievements. It causes one to be a source of support and encouragement for others even at their own personal expense.  And love does these things not once in a while, not on occasion, not even often, but always.    

Each word that Paul uses to describe love, both the words he used to describe what love is not and the words he used to describe what love is deserves more attention, and perhaps at our November Marriage Retreat we will have occasion to look more closely at Paul’s description of love, but for the sake of useful brevity I will summarize Paul’s description of love by saying love is not about you and your ego, it’s about others and their needs. 

Now that you have heard a description of what love is not, would you say that you have displayed love in your life, or have you tried to elevate yourself above others and treated people with contempt?  Now that you have heard a description of what love is, would you say you have displayed love in your life, or has that word “always” tripped you up?  I think we must all confess that we have been unloving to the people God has put in our lives; we have not loved them as we should. 

Does this mean you are without love in your life?  Are you a noise, a nobody, a nothing?  No, dear friends, you are not a noise, a nobody, a nothing for you are not without love.  “God is love.”[1] And God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were busy being unloving to each other God sent His one and only Son Jesus to love you.  Though you just confessed your own failure to love other people, Jesus does not berate or belittle you.  Jesus is not mad at you Jesus is not holding your sin against you and Jesus is not looking for ways to punish you.  Jesus has delivered you from the punishment you deserved.  Jesus has set you free from your slavery to sin.  Jesus, at His own personal expense is ready to lift you up higher than you can possibly imagine.  When you read Paul’s description of love you can’t help but notice Jesus is the embodiment of love.  4 Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. Jesus does not envy, Jesus does not boast, Jesus is not proud. 5 Jesus is not rude, Jesus is not self-seeking, Jesus is not easily angered, Jesus keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 Jesus always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Oh, my dear friends, you are not without love.  By the working of the Holy Spirit through the means of grace you have Jesus in your life and Jesus is love.

Because you have Jesus in your life you have love in your life which means you can be loving to the people God has put in your life.  You can park your ego and be patient and kind to people who deserve neither your patience nor kindness.  You can humble yourself by looking not to your own interest but to the interest of others and finding ways to lift them up.  In the midst of conflict and struggle, betrayal and abuse, pain and sorrow it is not going to be easy to love other people, but that is when love is needed the most, it is when you needed your God to love you and it is when the people in your life need you to love them.  When it was impossible, your God loved you.  When it seems impossible you can love others.

What is love?  I don’t know that I can define it for you.  I know it is so much more than a mood or emotion force or feeling.  I know that is too simple to distill love to a grammatical function and call it a verb.  I don’t know that anyone can define love.  The best we can do is describe it.  That is what the apostle Paul did in his letter to the Christians in Corinth.  And as we have seen today, Paul’s description of love was perfectly displayed in the life of Jesus.  As recipients of that love let us not worry about defining love, rather let us focus on displaying love in our lives.  In every interaction we have with every person God has placed in our lives, be they a till death do you part spouse, or a lifelong friend, or a casual acquaintance, or total stranger let us show them all what love is.  Amen. 

[1] 1 John 4:16